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The Cop and the Anthem(script)  

 作者:天涯过客

Police and hymn( script)

The original author: O. Henry

The first act

Soapy broke the glass, just standing. The police came running from the outside and of the theatre. The accident disrupted his listening on the theatre.

Police: Which side did the guy escape ?

Soapy: Don't worry. The Bible said,he who sows wickedness reaps trouble. The doctrine is supreme. Uh...... I broke the glass.

Police: Oh, damn it. To tell the truth, your body even won't pack your bones, how can it cover the courage? Poor wretch! The Bible also said,truthful lips endure forever ,but a lying tongue lasts only a moment .Please answer God, where is the fucking guy?

Soapy: My respectable officer ,your intelligence quotient (IQ) is just like the location of your baton .

Police: Whom do you think you are? Gregory Earl in the wilderness? Blind, so you can't see the evil guy? Heart is noble, but unfortunately, your king Lear is far away from you.

Soapy: No... no, I was really the one who broke the glass.

Police:So, you are Polonius, you want to take the rap for your King Claudius, oh, my god! If you are killed by princess ,how can your Ophelia accept it ?

Soapy: I am Edmond. I want to save my Mercedes,.I escaped from the prison,.Please take me back!

Police:Damn it !Stop! You wicked!

Soapy: Alas, two poor guy.

The second act

Soapy came to a simple restaurant, perhaps because his clothes is also very simple, fit the style, the waiter did not boot him out. Soapy ordered a steak, a piece of cake, some fried bread and pies. Soapy looked very happy. This made the waiter uncomfortable.The  waiter sitted on the table, regarding Soapy’s decent upper body. His messy lower body was held up by the tablecloth.

Soapy:Steak, steak, tell me, who is the hungriest person in the world?

Sue: The hungriest people in the world is you, my dear Soapy.Eat me, and fill your stomach.

Soapy: Ok.

Soapy: Pancake, pancake, tell me, who is the coldest person in the world ?

Soapy:The coldest person in the world is you, my dear Soapy.Eat me, and warm you up.

Soapy: Ok.

Soapy: Fried bread , fried bread , tell me, who is the poorest person in the world?

Soapy: Woo...woo... The poorest people in the world is you, my dear Soapy, eat me, then you can go to the prison.

Soapy: Well,.

Soapy: Pies, pies, tell me, who is the person should be the first one to go to hell in the world?

Soapy: The waiter, the waiter.

Waiter: Sir, since you have finished, your meal, please pay the bill.

Soapy: What?

Waiter: Pay!the!bill!

Soapy: Oh, god! I left my money in a prison.

Waiter: Then go back to your prison!

Soapy: What are you doing? Can’t you call the police! Call the police !

Waiter: Mirror, mirror, tell me, who showed the most brilliant tumbling in the world?

Another waiter said:This gentleman.


The third act

A pretty woman standed in front of the window, ardently to gaze at the shaving cylinder and ink, seems to want to change a job. Nearby, a policeman was sitting on the fire cock, grim. Sophy thought, “it is the police who talked about Shakespeare's works.This time, he would see, he will see that ,I will success...”

Soapy: Oh, sweetheart! do you need one boy at the head of a bed with you to narrate the Romeo and Juliet tonight?

Woman: Of course, Romeo.Tonight, I am your Juliet, however, Paris Earl is an obstacle. Could I drink a glass of Whisky?

Soapy: Well, I thought you are Denmark Cinderella, but you are the French Suet ball.

Woman: yes, Suet ball. Where is your house?

Soapy: Prison.

Woman: Are you joking me?A prison sells Whisky?

Soapy: Yes, but you must keep up with the trial work.

Woman: Oh!Fuck!

The fourth act

On the sidewalk ,Soapy pull straight his throat like a broken gong, like drunk mess.

Soapy: I want to kill you all! I will raze the city to the ground! Fight ! Move forward! Heil Hitler! Maria, live forever! Put me in jail! You pigs! You dirty bastard...

Police: (explained to the citizen) Sir, this is a Yale lad celebrating.They creatively with  Hartford College. Noisy; but no harm. We have instructions to allow them.

Citizen: What a dynamic kid!

Police: Yes ,so dynamic.

Soapy: Oh my god! I can't believe it!

The fifth act

Soapy at cigar shop around, see a pair of silk umbrella against the wall, next to a man, surrounded by customers.

Soapy take umbrella:Hey, this is my umbrella, darling, go to call the police.

Man: Of course... Uh...... You know, silk umbrella, is a kind of material cultural heritage the color of which is very bright ... ah... Because of this,it just make a person dazzling, dreaming, unable to recognize which is their own... so... misunderstanding is inevitable... I mean... Uh...... I am in a hotel to pick it up... You should not mind... If you don't mind losing  your umbrella transiently ...

Soapy: So?

Man:...I can give you my Bible if you don’t call the police.

Soapy:Haha ,why do I want a fucking Bible?

Man: Friend, you are supposed to believe it .Today is Sunday, everyone is reading the Bible, you don't understand? The children all understand.They will go to church to sing...

Sue: Oh.

The sixth act

Soapy passed by the church and hear the sound of the hymn, gradually becoming  infected, decided to start a new life.

Choir: (choral songs resurrected Christ).

Soapy:In this manner, therefore, pray

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.
   Give us this day our daily bread.
   And forgive us our debts,
   As we forgive our debtors.
   And do not lead us into temptation,
   But deliver us from the evil one.
   For Yours is the kingdom and the power and
   the glory forever.
   Bless Soapy.Amen.

Police: Bless you what? Don't think that.Follow me.

Soapy: Why?

Policeman: You wander here waiting for children choir to rob money,don’t you ?

Soapy: No, Sir, no, please believe me, I was confessing...

Police: Come on, the bible is not yours.You stole it from someone else.

Soapy:I have no way to say.




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